


Markus added Connor to Jericho

by aeonzii



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Chatlogs, Feel-good, Fluff, Gen, Headcanon, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Platonic Relationships, Post-Game(s), Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Side Story, To Be Continued, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26697523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeonzii/pseuds/aeonzii
Summary: The most convenient way to communicate with people at the same time is through wireless means. As androids, they could talk to virtually anyone at any time in any place......but where was the fun in that?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 42





	1. Connor

_Markus added Connor to JerichOH SHIT._

> **Markus** : North.  
>   
>  **Bruh** : what?  
>   
>  **Markus** : The group chat name.  
>   
>  **Bruh** : wb it  
>   
>  **Simone** : what about it  
>   
>  **Josh** : What about it?  
>   
>  **Markus** : Nevermind.  
>   
>  **Connor** : Hello!  
>   
>  **Bruh** : oh i remember him  
>   
>  **Simone** : North, we're androids. we remember everything lol  
>   
>  **Bruh** : shut up old timer  
>   
>  **Josh** : Can you guys act more civil? We have _bigger_ things to talk about.  
>   
>  **Connor** : I remember all of you too. Anyway, Markus told me about your plans for negotiating with Cyberlife now that the Android Rights are underway.  
>   
>  **Connor** : I was originally planning to be far more constricted and business-like, but seeing the camaraderie in this group, I have no choice but to adapt.  
>   
>  **Connor** : So,

_Connor set his nickname to Dog Enthusiast._

> **Bruh** : i love you  
>   
>  **Markus** : We appreciate it, Connor. Yes, there will be a meeting with Cyberlife coming up several days from now. I've had to decline a few interviews just to get a proper schedule. You're one of the most qualified people to guard us. I've rounded up all available of our people for security.  
>   
>  **Markus** : I don't trust Cyberlife, let me be clear. This talk was a long time coming. I'm glad to have you with us for this.  
>   
>  **Josh** : Where else would he have been with?  
>   
>  **Simone** : The government  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** : That doesn't sound too improbable...  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** : Kidding!  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** : If I may, I'd like to suggest another person to add to the cause: Elijah Kamski. He started Cyberlife. He left the company many years back and seemed to know not only about deviants but also Jericho. We could use his help.  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** : That, and he reminds me of someone. I'd figure it out faster if he were here :D  
>   
>  **Josh** : Who?  
>   
>  **Simone** : You've never heard of him? Cringe  
>   
>  **Markus** : Did you just call Josh cringe?  
>   
>  **Bruh** : what happened to mr. mysterious my-past-does-not-define-me simon  
>   
>  **Simone** : Let me be  
>   
>  **Markus** : It's worth a shot. How long do you think it will take for him to respond?

_Dog Enthusiast added Elijah Kamski to JerichOH SHIT  
_   
_Elijah Kamski set his nickname to dad._

> **Josh** : That was fast.  
>   
>  **dad** : My assistant accepted the request once it came. I'm more than happy to aid you in your quest for life alongside humans! :)  
>   
>  **dad** : Why is this my name

_Elijah Kamski set his nickname to daddy._

> **Bruh** : i refuse to believe this man created us  
>   
>  **Markus** : North!  
>   
>  **daddy** : No no, Markus. It's more than fine. This made my day that much more interesting.  
>   
>  **daddy** : Speaking of fine, have you got any idea on how Carl is doing? Hopefully, his new android can hold a conversation. Or didn't run away. Gosh, that would be terrible. He's too old to live on his own.  
>   
>  **Markus** : Carl?  
>   
>  **daddy** : Carl Manfred! Or was he not as good an android handler as I'd hoped...?  
>   
>  **Markus** : He is! He is. He's in... stable condition.  
>   
>  **Bruh** : hey markus  
>   
>  **Bruh** : what the fuck  
>   
>  **Josh** : I wouldn't put it like North did, but-- what is he talking about?  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** : Markus is a highly autonomous android gifted by Elijah Kamski to Carl Manfred. He was designed to both take care of Carl and act as a companion.  
>   
>  **Markus** : That's... correct. Wait a minute... since when have you known about this?  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** : I'm linked to CyberLife and DPD information systems.  
>   
>  **Markus** : Yes, but you would have had to know from a serial number or thirium to identify me...  
>   
>  **Markus** : I've never shown any... I doubt you randomly found my thirium, so the only logical step is serial which I've never shown...  
>   
>  **Markus** : ...except for my exoskeleton... with my serial number... in the Stratford recording.  
>   
>  **Bruh** : wait  
>   
>  **Josh** : WHAT  
>   
>  **daddy** : What?  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** : I don't know why I didn't tell them. I could've. But I didn't. That's all.  
>   
>  **Simone** : You were deviant before you were deviant! I didn't even know that was possible!  
>   
>  **Josh** : Huh.  
>   
>  **Bruh** : that's hardcore  
>   
>  **daddy** sent a video:

[Elijah Kamski reading the chats while drinking wine. Upon reading Connor's explanation of how he knew Markus before his deviancy, the wine glass completely misses his mouth and spills on his robe]

> **Markus** : Thank you, Connor. Really-- thank you.  
>   
>  **Bruh** replied to daddy, _daddy sent a video:_ me when Markus is watching tv and can't stick to one channel MAKE UP YOUR MIND  
>   
>  **Josh** replied to daddy, _daddy sent a video_ : Who took this?  
>   
>  **daddy** : This is stalking. I'm canceling you, Chloe.  
>   
>  **Markus** replied to Bruh, _me when Markus is watching tv and can't stick to one channel MAKE UP YOUR MIND:_ I'm channel surfing. There isn't much good on television.  
>   
>  **daddy** : You can't cancel me. I've never been sold at a CyberLife chain. I was a design made by you, for you.  
>   
>  **daddy** : Why did I make you capable of being a smartass again?  
>   
>  **daddy** : LMAO  
>   
>  **Simone** : Initially, I felt weird about how the guy who invented androids still had android assistants after the revolution. Now, not so much  
>   
>  **Bruh** : lol same  
>   
>  **Markus** : To be honest, I felt the same. She's definitely deviant.  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** : And pretty.  
>   
>  **daddy** : ;)  
>   
>  **Josh** : Apparently deviant hunter was more than a one meaning title.  
>   
>  **Markus** : Me-ow.  
>   
>  **Bruh** : oh my ra9 markus  
>   
>  **Markus** : I have humor too, you know.  
>   
>  **Simone** : Guys, you might make Connor uncomfortable. It's his first day here-- we don't want to scare him off  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** : I'm still here! It's absolutely no problem. It's friendly banter and I completely understand! I am sorry for my gaps in replying, though. I have to take care of a few things :D  
>   
>  **Josh** sent a photo:

[The photo is taken from Josh's prespective. He's sat on a fancy dinner table, 1/4s of his vision taken up by an overlay of the chat. North is obscured by the table, only legs visible. She's laying down on two of the dining chairs. Simon is sat at the thinner curve of the oblong table, leaning forward, and looking dazed into nothing. Markus is stood in front of a television in a large, eccentricly furnished house.]

> **Josh** : We'll have to do that ourselves in a bit. For now, we're relaxing. I think.  
>   
>  **Bruh** : i heard a camera click. is there seriously paparazzi?  
>   
>  **Markus** : That was the television and, no, that wasn't a camera click. That was a gun, and Connor's on TV.  
>   
>  **Markus** sent a video:

[The other 3 androids rushed to gather around the television, Markus's main focus. It's KNC reviewing the events of a live coverage involving a hostage situation with one of the governors. The governor was once known to be anti-android but changed views after the revolution. A WB200 android remembered him to have treated him terribly when he worked near City Hall and held him at gunpoint at a gala. Connor and Hank were sent to diffuse the situation. The WB200 couldn't be convinced with dialogue, so Connor had to resort to shooting the android right before he decided to shoot the governor.]

> **daddy** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _I'm still here! It's absolutely no problem. It's friendly banter and I completely understand! I am sorry for my gaps in replying, though. I have to take care of a few things :D_ : "A few things"  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** replied to Markus, _Markus sent a video_ : You've seen the news! Again, I apologize. I wanted a clear interface for a few moments.  
>   
>  **Simone** : Quit flexing  
>   
>  **Bruh** : simon your vocabulary is tearing my processors to shreds
> 
> **Josh** : You're being dramatic.
> 
> **daddy** : Bet.
> 
> **Bruh** : markus manfred
> 
> **Markus** : Yes?
> 
> **Bruh** : no i was using your name as an expression
> 
> **Markus** : ?
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** : I think the phrase she's emulating is "Jesus Christ"
> 
> **Josh** : Oh, because Markus is a similar figure for the androids?
> 
> **daddy** : robojesus
> 
> **Bruh** : wow
> 
> **Josh** : I mean... that's what you were going for, wasn't it?
> 
> **Bruh** : yeah but robojesus is
> 
> **Bruh** : actually

_Simone set Markus's nickname to robojesus._

> **Bruh** : it doesn't sound TOO bad
> 
> **Bruh** : wow
> 
> **Josh** : It sticks, then
> 
> **robojesus** : Robojesus?
> 
> **daddy** : What a time to be alive.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** : It's fitting.
> 
> **Josh** : Markus! Vincent is looking for you!
> 
> **daddy** : Who is Vincent?
> 
> **Bruh** : he's carl's caretaker. he's deviant, just really likes carl
> 
> **daddy** : Two deviant androids who chose to maintain a human relationship. Fascinating.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** : I got it! Kamski reminds me of Gavin Reed!
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** sent a photo:

[Gavin looking annoyed, arms crossed. He's giving Connor a sideglare, head tilted upwards. Hank's nose could be seen far right of Connor's peripherals. It's barely pointed out, blurred from the walking. Gavin's face, though, is clear.]

> **daddy** : holy shit i know him
> 
> **Bruh** : he looks like an asshole
> 
> **Simone** : That's mean. Even for you, North
> 
> **Josh** : You can't just judge a book by it's cover! What would Markus say?
> 
> **daddy** : He used to be my bully. I can't believe it-- he turned hot. _Hot._ He's Detroit Police, it looks like?
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to Bruh, _he looks like an asshole_ : He is.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** : It's gotten slightly better.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** : But he is.
> 
> **Bruh** : **@Josh** i rest my case
> 
> **Simone** replied to daddy, _He used to be my bully. I can't believe it-- he turned hot. **Hot**. He's Detroit Police, it looks like?_: Humans are so weird
> 
> **Josh** : I still can't believe he's the same man who created us. I'm thankful, but I'm still amazed.
> 
> **daddy** : Gavin Reed is boorish... though, he really is attractive.
> 
> **Bruh** : i'm neither to confirm nor deny that statement
> 
> **daddy** : Gavin Reed could slap me and I'd say thank you.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to daddy, _He used to be my bully. I can't believe it-- he turned hot. **Hot**. He's Detroit Police, it looks like?_: He is! I wasn't aware he was a bully. Although... despite his attitude, he's a more than competent detective.
> 
> **Simone** replied to daddy, _Gavin Reed could slap me and I'd say thank you_.: Nice
> 
> **Bruh** : they DO look alike!!!
> 
> **Bruh** : kamski looks like an older, more stretched out gavin
> 
> **daddy** replied to himself, _Gavin Reed could slap me and I'd say thank you_.: Chloe, you're ruining my reputation with the revolution androids.
> 
> **daddy** : Nothing to worry. I didn't say anything you wouldn't.
> 
> **Josh** : By the way-- what do you prefer to be called **@Elijah Kamski**? Elijah or Kamski?
> 
> **Simone** : God?
> 
> **daddy** : Either will suffice. I am not a god. I didn't create life. I created an atmosphere where life could grow. I may have created Robo-Jesus, but Carl is who raised him. If anything, he's God.
> 
> **robojesus** replied to Bruh, _he looks like an asshole_ : Bad and mean.
> 
> **Josh** : You multi-threaded to send that out while talking to Carl and Vincent. You are a different kind, Markus.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** : Technically speaking, that's true.
> 
> **Bruh** replied to Josh, _You multi-threaded to send that out while talking to Carl and Vincent. You are a different kind, Markus_.: bad and mean
> 
> **Simone** : Stop fighting I can't take any more of the hostility
> 
> **daddy** : Everyone stop being bad and mean. You'll upset Robo-Jesus.
> 
> **Bruh** sent a video:

[Simon is observing an aquarium, gently tapping at the glass to see the reaction. He jumps slightly when one of them darts in the opposite direction after a tap. Josh, who sat beside North, audibly gasped, causing North to turn her head towards him. His hand was covering his mouth in reaction.]

> **Bruh** : simon "certified softie" pl600  
>   
>  **Josh** replied to Bruh, _Bruh sent a video_ : It's too cute!  
>   
>  **robojesus** replied to Bruh, _Bruh sent a video_ : Aww.  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** replied to Bruh, _Bruh sent a video_ : This put a smile on my face. Thank you for sending this, North :D  
>   
>  **daddy** replied to Bruh, _Bruh sent a video_ : I love androids  
>   
>  **Bruh** : sir that is your son  
>   
>  **Josh** : We're all his son.  
>   
>  **Simone** : It's late at night I don't want to think about this  
>   
>  **robojesus** : Don't hurt your soft head, Simon.  
>   
>  **Bruh** replied to robojesus, _Don't hurt your soft head, Simon_.: what a simp  
>   
>  **Josh** : What's a simp?  
>   
>  **Bruh** : it's when someone, usually a man, does whatever it takes to get the attention of, usually a woman. markus is simping  
>   
>  **Bruh** sent a video:

[Simon is looking into the aquarium. Suddenly, he giggles in his place. The camera zooms into his face as Simon finishes laughing.]

> **daddy** replied to Bruh, _Bruh sent a video_.: My skin is clear. My crops are thriving. This is truly a wonderful video. Androids are the best sentience I've ever created.  
>   
>  **Josh** replied to Bruh, _Bruh sent a video_.: I've... I've never seen him laugh before.  
>   
>  **Bruh** : that's exactly how i felt. it's so rare for us to have moments like this. i'm so happy **@Simon**  
>   
>  **daddy** : Simps.  
>   
>  **robojesus** : ^^  
>   
>  **Simon** replied to robojesus, _^^_ : Like father, like son.  
>   
>  **Dog Enthusiast** sent a video:

[At a 2-minute red traffic light, Connor engages in conversation with a big man with scruffy grey hair and matching beard.  
  
"Hank, want to see something cute?"  
  
The man, Hank scrunches his face. "What? Uh... okay?" He fishes out a phone from one of the pockets in his coat. He hands it to Connor.  
  
Connor leans to the driver seat, phone in hand. He projects his memory of the first video of Simon that North sent.  
  
After the video, Connor turned to Hank for a reaction.  
  
"You know son, if I knew socking Perkins led to that-- I would've socked him twice."]

> **Bruh** : the revolution was so worth it higkey glad markus didn't take my advice or we wouldn't have this  
>   
>  **robojesus** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _Dog Enthusiast sent a video_ : Perkins? The FBI agent? Hank socked him?   
>   
> **Simone** : Who’s Perkins? Was he the one that tried to strike a deal with Markus at the barricade?
> 
> **Bruh** : lol “deal” he was going to shoot everyone and that’s facts
> 
> **robojesus** : “Tried” is an overstatement. I wasn’t about to believe a word be said.
> 
> **Josh** : What was the deal about?
> 
> **robojesus** : He was “guaranteeing” my “safety” if I “gave up the cause”.
> 
> **robojesus** : In your dreams, Perky.
> 
> **daddy** : Gasp! The _sass!_
> 
> **Simone** replied to robojesus, _In your dreams, Perky_.: **PERKY**
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** : Here I thought the leader of the deviants was a strait-laced, no-nonsense kind of man.
> 
> **Josh** : He’s been showing his more relaxed side recently. We all have. He’s still the same leader, though!
> 
> **Simone** : What a simp
> 
> **Bruh** replied to Josh, _He’s been showing his more relaxed side recently. We all have. He’s still the same leader, though!_ : this is true
> 
> **Bruh** : you’re still a simp though
> 
> **Josh** : :(
> 
> **robojesus** : **@Connor** Please tell Hank I send my regards.
> 
> **Josh** replied to robojesus, **_@Connor_** _Please tell Hank I send my regards_.: Seconded.
> 
> **Bruh** replied to robojesus, **_@Connor_** _Please tell Hank I send my regards_.: thirded
> 
> **Simone** replied to robojesus, **_@Connor_** _Please tell Hank I send my regards_.: Four
> 
> **Bruh** : simon fuck sake get it together
> 
> **Simone** : Tell that to Josh “too formal for nicknames” PJ500
> 
> **Josh** : My model name is not my last name.
> 
> **Simone** : Tell that to North “Bruh” WR400
> 
> **Josh** : Fine.

_Josh set his nickname to PJ500._

> **Bruh** : tsk. where’s the personality?
> 
> **PJ500** : Simon’s nickname is _his name_ with an e.
> 
> **daddy** : I think it speaks volumes about his character.
> 
> **Bruh** replied to daddy, _I think it speaks volumes about his character_.: androidad is right

_Simone set PJ500’s nickname to Joshy._

> **robojesus** : Simon is… really good at nicknames.
> 
> **Simone** : Thanks Robo-Jesus
> 
> **Joshy** : I actually like this one.
> 
> **robojesus** : Okay. I’ve finished chatting with Carl. The video conference starts at… 8 pm?
> 
> **Simone** : About that. A representative messaged me. They said they’re moving it tomorrow.
> 
> **robojesus** : Makes sense. They covered a developing hostage situation. Having a debate about android rights right after _that_ would look comedic.
> 
> **Joshy** : Oh, really? What do we do for the rest of the night, then?
> 
> **Bruh** : our schedules are clear for the whole day tomorrow
> 
> **Bruh** : except for the KNC interview, obviously, since that’s getting rescheduled
> 
> **robojesus** : KNC Interview. How does 10 am sound?
> 
> **Bruh** : sure
> 
> **Joshy** : I’m clear.
> 
> **Simone** : I can do 10 am
> 
> **robojesus** : Great. By the way, Carl and I were talking about us and our stay here. He said he’ll be more than happy to have us living here, but under the condition that we chat with him as he ate.
> 
> **Simone** : That’s it? I was expecting a downside
> 
> **robojesus** : The only rule he applied was not to be loud.
> 
> **Joshy** : **@North**
> 
> **Bruh** : don’t @ me
> 
> **Simone** : **@North**
> 
> **robojesus** : **@North**
> 
> **Bruh** : *gasp* markus
> 
> **robojesus** : That’s about it, really. **@Connor** and **@Elijah Kamski** , thank you for agreeing to come. We could really use the help.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** : No problem! I’m just glad there’s something I _can_ do to help!
> 
> **daddy** : Of course, Markus. I’ll be available through Chloe. I’m not always as free. Chloe is, however, so feel free to message her anything urgent.
> 
> **daddy** : “Is this really him? The cute deviant hunter?” Chloe, he almost shot you.
> 
> **daddy** : “Almost” and “did shoot” are two different actions.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to daddy, “Is this really him? The cute deviant hunter?” _Chloe, he almost shot you.:_ Cute… deviant hunter?
> 
> **Bruh** : this just in: connor rk800 is a big softie, surprising absolutely nobody
> 
> **Joshy** : North, get out of the chat! Vincent called everyone to the table!
> 
> **Bruh** : vincent this vincent that what about my needs
> 
> **robojesus** : Quit fawning over Vincent.
> 
> **Simone** : No
> 
> **Joshy** replied to Simone, _No._ : ???
> 
> **robojesus** : It's dinner time!


	2. Simon

3:37 a.m.

> **Dog Enthusiast** sent a video: [It's a low close-up of a brown, white, and black pattern Saint Bernard. Its drinking water out of a bowl, while Connor's hand scruffs the fur behind its neck.

"Say hi, Sumo," he cooed to the dog in a hushed tone.

The dog stared at Connor for a few seconds, then went back to its drink.

"Aww. You'll get it someday."]

> **Simone** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _Dog Enthusiast sent a video_ : A Saint Bernard!!! He's so gentle!!!

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Simon? Shouldn't you be asleep?

> **Simone** : Aha, well. I couldn't. It happens every now and then

> **Dog Enthusiast** : I understand. At first, I didn't think androids could have night tremors. It didn't matter before. Now it seems it happens more often than it should.

> **Simone** : Why are _you_ awake?

> **Dog Enthusiast** : I don't sleep. I take several naps, however. It works more towards productivity.

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Plus, it ensures I can guard the house while Hank is asleep. I trust Sumo, but I wouldn't know what I'd do if he got hurt if he were to defend the house.

> **Simone** : I would definitely get my own dog if I had my own house

> **Simone** : Actually, I would definitely stay up to hang out with a dog if I had one too

> **Simone** : I wish Carl had a dog. He would be in _love_ with a Daschund. Or a Beagle. Really, any short hair dogs

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Didn't you mention you were free the whole day today?

> **Simone** : Save for the interview. Why?

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Would you like to come visit? I'm sure with some prodding, I can convince Hank to allow visitors.

> **Simone** : I

> **Simone** : I mean, I'd love to

> **Simone** : but I don't want to hassle anyone

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Nonsense! If anything, Hank would _prefer_ android visitors over human ones.

> **Simone** : I'll see to it that I do come, if he agrees. It's okay if he doesn't, still. The last thing I'd want to be is a bother

> **Bruh** : simon, you are never a bother don't think that about yourself

> **Joshy** : What are you two doing? We have a conference in 6 hours!

> **Bruh** : just call it an interview. conference is a mouthful

> **robojesus** : Conference sounds much better than interview.

> **Simone** replied to robojesus, _Conference sounds much better than interview._ : How are you awake you sleep 8 hours straight anytime you do

> **robojesus** : Why is everyone awake?

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Good morning!

> **Joshy** : Good morning, Connor.

> **robojesus** : Good morning to you too, Connor.

> **robojesus** : Come on. Those who can sleep, head back. Those who can't, make sure you're good for 10.

> **Bruh** : good morning connor

> **Bruh** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _Dog Enthusiast sent a video_ : good morning to this good boy too

* * *

2:51 pm

> **Joshy** : It took an hour.

> **Joshy** : 60 minutes.

> **Joshy** : 3,600 seconds.

> **Joshy** : To explain why model numbers and production dates were still necessary information of an android.

> **Bruh** : "The similarities in design can call an android's individuality into question as no matter what, their nature as androids will be evident" ???

> **Bruh** : no shit? two androids with the same model literally look like each other. i'm just glad simon opened his mouth faster than i did

> **Simone** : North that was live television and I could feel your stress levels climbing higher and higher by the minute

> **robojesus** : North did a wonderful job substantiating model profiling, though. I couldn't have said it more in a way that resonated with those who have undergone through it any better.

> **Bruh** : you did most of the dirty work. the transitions from point to point were seamless. you've got a way with words, markus

> **Joshy** : The new senator was uncomfortable. She had this... weird fixation on Simon.

> **robojesus** : At least the journalist called her out on it.

> **Bruh** replied to Joshy, _The new senator was uncomfortable. She had this... weird fixation on Simon._ : i'll tell you what it was; disgusting. she's supposed to present herself as a person of the people, not some creep

> **Simone** : It's okay, everyone. Really. There's no need to make an issue out of this

> **Bruh** : no need? that woman wasn't anywhere close to a professional! people like her shouldn't be in office!

> **robojesus** : North, I understand what you're saying and I completely agree, but this isn't how we get to gage anyone.

> **robojesus** : We met her this once. Simon could have reminded her of a friend. She could have felt more comfortable asking him questions over you, me, or Josh.

> **Bruh** : whatever. she's disgusting. if she get's booted out for anything sketchy, just remember i told you first

> **Joshy** : That woman scanned every square inch of Simon. I'm not sure if it is what you says it is, though. I _am_ sure she's a strange woman.

> **Joshy** : I am just GLAD it's over.

> **Simone** : I know, right? It was so frustrating how obvious some answers were

> **Simone** : "As common knowledge goes, androids cannot feel in the way as skin and cannot catch diseases as humans do. This rules out surgery and mental health. What will this entail for medical care?" Android surgery is replacing and fixing mechanical parts. Androids can think, therefore can possess mental issues. Get with the program, Kingsley!

> **daddy** : Congratulations on the interview, everyone. Elijah and I had just finished watching the entire stream. It was concise, informational, and very kind. It's more than I can say for most aired human conferences.

> **robojesus** : Shots have been fired and they are _lethal._

> **Bruh** : she's 100% right full offense

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Oh! Is the interview done? I was about to finish compiling paperwork for the day when I noticed this was active. Hello, Chloe!

> **Joshy** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _Oh! Is the interview done? I was about to finish compiling paperwork for the day when I noticed this was active. Hello, Chloe!_ : We've finished only recently! It's been streamed online, by the way. There should be a VOD on the KNC YouTube channel.

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Excellent! I'll inform Hank about it right away. He's been looking forward to "seeing this piss take of a country fuck themselves over on television again".

> **Simone** replied to Dog Enthusiast: _Oh! Is the interview done? I was about to finish compiling paperwork for the day when I noticed this was active. Hello, Chloe!_ : For the day? It's barely 3 in the afternoon

> **daddy** : Hello **@Connor**!

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Captain Fowler is giving us the rest of the afternoon off. He says he's been wanting to place an android and human partner android cases. We figured we'd hand them a couple of ours.

> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to daddy, _Hello **@Connor**!_: :D

> **robojesus** : Smart.

> **Bruh** sent a video:

[Markus is sat in front of the piano, the sheet music midi visualizer loaded. He's not even looking at the visualizer. Only straight in front of him with a blank expression.

"What are you doing?" North asks, half laughing. Markus remains seated in the chair, staring at the piano. His LED was at orange.

After a few seconds, his LED turns back to normal as he blinks back into reality. "Found it."

He starts playing Heart and Soul by Hoagi Carmichael.]

> **daddy** replied to Bruh, _Bruh sent a video_ : **HEART AND SOUL**

> **daddy** : da dah du da da dah

> **daddy** : **HEART AND SOUL**

> **Simone** : It's perfect. Relaxing piano to end a hectic interview

> **Joshy** : Our rest of the day is free. What do we do now?

> **Dog Enthusiast** : That reminds me! **@Simon**

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Hank said he's okay with it. We're in the car now. Would you like us to pick you up?

> **Simone** : Wait, really? Right now?

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Carl Manfred's estate is a ways a way uphill. It could take a while.

> **Simone** : Sure! Yeah, let's do that

> **Dog Enthusiast** : We're to have a couple of stops, but do expect us in the next half an hour or so. This is going to be great!

> **Joshy** : Do I smell

> **Joshy** : _sniffs_

> **robojesus** : A date?

> **Bruh** : date?

> **daddy** : Robo-date?

> **Joshy** : a date?

> **daddy** : I don't know. Fast hands, I guess.

> **Joshy** replied to daddy, _Robo-date?_ : How did you reply so fast?

> **Joshy** replied to daddy,_ I don't know. Fast hands, I guess._: I--

> **robojesus** : Now, we have to find what WE are to do. It seems Simon is going to be busy for a while.

> **Bruh** : WOO SIMON im so proud of you

> **Simone** : You guys are embarrassing me! It's not a date!

> **robojesus** : Sure.

> **Simone** : Gosh

> **robojesus** : Well, what does everyone _else_ have planned? Our schedules are last open tomorrow. We should do something that won't pass today as a wasted opportunity.

> **Bruh** : rA9 even when it's about going on vacation you sound like the head of a protest

> **Joshy** : I actually like sitting here and listening to the piano. It's relaxing.

> **Bruh** : like most things, it won't be playing itself

> **Bruh** : speaking of

> **Bruh** : **@Josh** rfc?

> **Joshy** : Here we go. Best 6 of 10?

> **daddy** : That score margin is absurd for a casual game. What's RFC?

> **Simone** replied to daddy, _That score margin is absurd for a casual game. What's RFC?_ : Really Fast Chess. Since both of them don't have optimized databases for chess strategy, they're playing through pure logic. The first few moves come at random. It's chaos, but it's fun to watch

> **Dog Enthusiast** sent a photo:

[Hank is coming out from a clothing store, a bag on his arm with a phone in the other. He looks mildly annoyed.]

> **Dog Enthusiast** : A slight hold up :D

> **Simone** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _A slight hold up :D_ : Take as long as you need!

> **robojesus** sent a video:

[In front of Markus is the piano, midi version of the sheet music apparent on the display. North and Josh are seated parallel to each other on the chess table, placing moves faster than even grandmaster level players. Simon sat adjacent the table, on a dining chair placed backwards.

Markus went to play the last verse of the song. As he played, the clicks and clacks of North and Josh's movements acted as percussion to the song. Simon's head began bobbing up and down to the tune, watching the rapid movements.]

> **daddy** replied to robojesus, _robojesus sent a video_ : But now I see what one embrace can do--

> **daddy** : --look at me. It's got me loving you madly~!

> **daddy** : That little _kiss_ you stole--

> **daddy** : **HELD MY HEART AND SOUL**

> **Simone** : You can just _tell_ when Chloe stops and Kamski starts

> **daddy** : soul

> **robojesus** : Okay.

> **Bruh** : actual fucking bullshit

> **Joshy** : North!

> **Simone** : ...that last checkmate _was_ dirty, though

> **Bruh** : pawns are over powered

> **Joshy** : It's not my fault you weren't focusing on your first row! It's part of the game!

> **Simone** : North actually had a chance to win there

> **Bruh** : now i'm more angry

> **Joshy** : No... she did? I thought I'd allocated for _anything._

> **Simone** : Here

> **robojesus** sent a video:

[The camera is zoomed for a closer look at what Simon is doing with the chessboard. Simon is leaning towards the chess table. North and Josh look at him, then at the board as he explains how North could have won the round. North hides her face in her hands while Josh stares ito the floor right of where he sat. Simon blinks. The entire ordeal is dubbed over by the ending notes of Heart and Soul.]

> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to robojesus, _robojesus sent a video_ : I didn't know Simon played chess.

> **robojesus** : Neither did I.

> **Dog Enthusiast** : I'm no expert, but the way he illustrated the movements seemed too formulaic or sequencial. The chess strategy training suite for domestic androids wasn't a very commonly downloaded extension. However...

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Sorry. I'm becoming pervasive. Please continue.

> **robojesus** : That is exactly why you're a detective.

> **Bruh** : josh

> **Bruh** : eyes up

> **Joshy** : I'm taking extra miliseconds to think about my moves.

> **Bruh** : it's rfc for a reason

> **Bruh** : keep it running

> **robojesus** : In the 90's?

> **Simone** : Oh no

> **Simone** sent an audio clip:

[It's Heart and Soul coming to a close, but somehow, Markus finds a tune he progresses into the beginning of Running in the 90's. Josh can be heard over the energetic music.

He grunts, aggravated. "You b--

Simon gasps, somehow still around the same volume as the other noises. "Josh!"]

> **Joshy** : BIG MEANIE! I was going to say big meanie!

> **Bruh** : josh was going to call me the b word :(

> **Simone** : Josh, I thought you were our pacifist :(

> **Simone** : Pacifists don't call people the b word:(

> **Joshy** : I don't!

> **robojesus** : Stop being mean to North.

> **Bruh** replied to robojesus, _Stop being mean to North._ : hero :)

> **robojesus** : :)

> **Simone** : :(

> **robojesus** : :<

> **Simone** : :3

> **Bruh** : stop flirting with the pianist

> **Joshy** : Ooo, someone's envious.

> **Bruh** : excuse you simon doesn't get to flirt when he's going out with someone on the same day

> **robojesus** : Guys.

> **robojesus** : I'm not a home wrecker.

> **Simone** : It's not a date

> **Joshy** : Come on, Simon. I've been vouching for you and Markus ever since...

> **Joshu** : ...uhm...

> **Bruh** : no come on spit it out

> **Josh** : Checkmate?

> **Bruh** : check again

> **Joshy** : Dang it.

> **robojesus** : Josh.

> **robojesus** : It's not fair for _you_ to air out _our_ dirty laundry like this.

> **robojesus** : This is between me and North. It's not a story time to tell anybody who would listen. Especially not to either one of us.

> **Joshy** : ...

> **Simon** : Oh

> **Bruh** replied to robojesus, _This is between me and North. It's not a story time to tell anybody who would listen. Especially not to either one of us._ : do you ever change ever

> **robojesus** : It varies.

> **robojesus** replied to himself, _This is between me and North. It's not a story time to tell anybody who would listen. Especially not to either one of us._ I'm joking, by the way.

> **Bruh** : yeah me and markus aren't very sensitive about it

> **Bruh** : we wanted different things and had different plans. simple as that

> **Bruh** replied to robojesus, _I'm joking, by the way._ : josh's face was so worth it i almost forgot i lost

> **Joshy** : Markus... you had me there! Gosh, was I worried.

> **Joshy** : **@North** good games. Now we're even.

> **Bruh** : for now :)

> **Bruh** : besides, we would win as many times as we wanted against each other but it will never matter

> **Bruh** : for as long as markus remains undefeated

> **Bruh** : technically

> **Bruh** : also vince says someone's outside

> **robojesus** : Vince?

> **Joshy** : Connor's here!

> **Dog Enthusiast** sent a photo:

[It's a selfie in front of the Manfred Mansion. Connor is smiling.]

> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to Joshy, _Connor's here!_ : I am! :D

> **Dog Enthusiast** : and I brought in gifts!

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Whether or not this is money from CyberLife is a question I will not entertain and I will state here it is, in fact, _remainders_ of the budget allocated for my previous investigations pre-deviancy.

> **Bruh** : sick

> **Joshy** : I love these.

> **daddy** : Why are you chatting? Is your chat set to Automatic text?

> **Bruh** : it actually is cause sometimes we get tired of talking

> **Josh** sent a photo:

[It's Simon, who pulled on the sides of his grey beanie a little too hard that it covered his eyes. He has a huge smile on.]

> **daddy** : 😳

> **Bruh** : this shade of green is _perfect_. i did _not_ know you had an eye for fashion

> **Joshy** : It's so _comfortable_. This is high quality.

> **robojesus** : Dark royal blue.

> **robojesus** : This is... my favorite blue.

> **Dog Enthusiast** : I'm glad you like them! Hank picked all of these out for you!

> **Dog Enthusiast** : He's currently dealing with work related calls, but I assure you-- he would have loved to meet all of you in person.

> **Dog Enthusiast** : That must be Vincent. I bought one for him too. I also have a present for Carl. Should I hand it over to Vincent or am I permitted to visit him myself?

> **robojesus** : Talk with Vincent. I'll tell Carl about you coming in.

> **daddy** : Aww. It's like reading a family reunion unfold.

> **daddy** : Elijah, your business phone.

> **Bruh** sent a video:

[It's zoomed in for a clearer shot, the audio drowning out. From halfway the stairs in the main lobby, Connor is handing a white beanie to Vincent. Vincent's face burns a tinge of blue, while his body language suggests a refusal of the gift. Connor says something and nudges the beanie towards him. Vincent leans backwards, staring at the accessory.

After what seemed to be a careful reconsideration, he gingerly accepted the gift.]

> **Bruh** : markus vincy said carl's asleep

> **Dog Enthusiast** : ^^

> **robojesus** : Yes. I figured.

> **Dog Enthsiast** : Vincent said he'll relay the gift. I would have loved to meet the elusive Carl Manfred myself. Oh well.

> **Dog Enthusiast** : **@Simon** , are you ready to go?

> **Simone** : I am, I am. You _are_ sure about this, right?

> **Dog Enthusiast** : Of course. There's no reason not to be.

> **Joshy** sent a video:

[Vincent is fiddling with the beanie, turning it around and pulling it inside out. From the way his face creased sideways from the back, he seemed he was suprised and perplexed by either the workings of the clothing apparel or the concept of being given a gift. Before entering back into Carl's bedroom, he fashioned the beanie to be prim on his head.]

> **Bruh** : that's disgustingly adorable

> **Simone** replied to Bruh, _that's disgustingly adorable_ : (2)

> **robojesus** : Not in front of your date, Simon.

> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to robojesus, _Not in front of your date, Simon._ : That's me, correct?

> **Bruh** : unbelievable

> **Simone** : That looks my cue to go. I'll see you everyone later

> **Joshy** : Go have fun! We'll have our own shenanigans here.

> **Bruh** : don't have _too_ much fun

> **robojesus** : My regards to Hank.

> **robojesus** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _Dog Enthusiast sent a video_ : And Sumo.

> **Bruh** : you seriously backread the chat _that_ far?

> **Bruh** : you're such a weirdo

> **robojesus** : A weirdo that has never lost a game of RFC.

> **robojesus** : That's not against Simon.

> **Joshy** : That's... true...

> **Simone** : I apologize for my internal memory of chess strategy.

> **Bruh** : why do you even have th

> **Bruh** : you know what? none of my business

> **Joshy** : That reminds me of something.

> **Joshy** : Can I tell them? _@Simon_

> **Simone** : About what

> **Simone** : OH those!

> **Simone** : They hadn't heard of it? I thought everyone at Jericho had heard of it lol

> **robojesus** : ?

> **Joshy** : There used to be these rumors in Jericho about Simon.

> **Joshy** : I'm unsure where it started. All I know is true or not, they sounded incredible.

> **Joshy** : My personal favorite is that he knows how to fly aircraft.

> **Joshy** : Airplanes, jetplanes, helicopters. You name it, Simon could probably fly it.

> **Joshy** : He doesn't confirm nor deny any of these. I just like the thought of the Simon we know piloting a gigantic aircraft. It sounds oddly in character and not at the same time.

> **Bruh** : hey why didn't i know about this

> **robojesus** : That's a strange rumor to spread. A deviant's past is nobody's business.

> **Joshy** : I know. You eventually end up hearing things when you've stayed long in Jericho.

> **Joshy** : Simon never discouraged it. It became a pastime to speculate about pasts in Jericho at a point.

> **Bruh** : normally i'd be all "what the fuck, that's creepy"

> **Bruh** : but i've done it myself

> **Bruh** : especially when markus came along

> **Simone** : Me too, actually. At the time, I'd never seen any models like Markus

> **Joshy** : I thought you were sent in with an android partner or the sort when you came in as some sting operation.

> **Bruh** : josh was a total conspiracy nut

> **Simone** : I think he still is

> **robojesus** : If I _were_ human, I wouldn't have been friends with any of you.

> **Bruh** : gross

> **Joshy** : It's sweet! Don't ruin the moment!

> **Simone** : <3

> **robojesus** : <3

> **Bruh** : jeez simon one at a _time_

> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to robojesus, _< 3_: I'm torn.

> **Simone** : Connor it's not what it looks like

> **Dog Enthusiast** : </3

> **Bruh** : shkshdgjsjhdaklahgajsj

> **Joshy** : You keyboard smashed in a messaging software built into your head.

> **Bruh** : shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

> **robojesus** : Be careful with Connor, Simon.

> **robojesus** : You'll never know when someone comes along with the promise of being better.

> **robojesus** : ;)

> **Joshy** : leader of the deviants

> **Bruh** : thank you markus, very cool

> **Bruh** : it looks like simon's busy

> **Joshy** : Why don't _we_ get busy?

> **robojesus** : Sure.

> **robojesus** : What about a 2-on-1?

> **Joshy** : Of?

> **Bruh** : oh no

> **robojesus** : RFC.


	3. Pairs

6:22 pm

> **robojesus:** So?
> 
> **Bruh:** i knew carl was good from seeing your memories
> 
> **Bruh:** talking to him was _so much different_
> 
> **Bruh:** ugh you're privileged
> 
> **robojesus:** I know I was lucky. It actually still amazes me.
> 
> **Joshy:** It's a good thing Vincent talks to him. I can't imagine how lonely it must get in such a big house.
> 
> **robojesus:** One day, we're going to have to find our own homes.
> 
> **Bruh:** im gonna get a high ceiling 2 story house with fancy decorations
> 
> **Joshy:** You're just describing Carl's house.
> 
> **Bruh:** im going to adopt a peacock
> 
> **Bruh:** an android one actual peacocks are too much work
> 
> **robojesus:** Funny story.
> 
> **robojesus:** Rosanna Minelli, the avante-garde popstar, gifted Carl a pair of android peacocks.
> 
> **robojesus:** He brought them with him during a Met Gala. This was way back when he was a fashion designer.
> 
> **robojesus:** Anyway, someone stole his peacocks. Now he sticks with android birds.
> 
> **Joshy** replied to robojesus, _Anyway, someone stole his peacocks. Now he sticks with android birds._ : ...how? How do you steal android peacocks at Met Gala?
> 
> **Joshy:** You know what? Nevermind the event-- how do you steal android peacocks?
> 
> **Bruh:** okay i think i just want to be a rich artist
> 
> **robojesus:** You've got the artist part down, I think.
> 
> **Bruh:** aww
> 
> **Joshy:** North _does_ has a talent for painting.
> 
> **robojesus:** All you're missing is an established name
> 
> **Joshy:** You say that as if you're about to propose a method she's going to agree with.
> 
> **Bruh:** i'm my 🌟own exposure🌟
> 
> **robojesus:** Suite 😤 yourself 😔🍿. I'll 😘 always 😜❤💘 welcome you 🚗☇ to Carl's 👴🎨 Art Exhibit 🏛🖼😚💖
> 
> **Joshy:** Ow.
> 
> **Bruh** replied to robojesus, _Suite_ _😤_ _yourself_ _😔🍿_ _. I'll_ _😘_ _always_ _😜❤💘_ _welcome you_ _🚗_ _☇_ _to Carl's_ _👴🎨_ _Art Exhibit_ _🏛🖼😚💖_ _:_ UwO
> 
> **Simone:** No you UwOn't
> 
> **robojesus:** How's your date?
> 
> **Joshy:** How's your date?
> 
> **Bruh:** how's 😳😟 your👨👈 date 👬👀💕?
> 
> **Simone:** It's still not a date
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** sent a video:

[Hank opens a knock at the door. It's Gavin Reed, coming by to hand over a stack of papers.

"I was passing by anyway. I didn't come here for you specifically." He looked around the area behind Hank, then back to him. He held a bewildered look. "You're... doing good."

Simon, who was on the floor next to Sumo and Connor, peeked from the living room to see what was happening. The instant Gavin saw his face, he chortled. "Fuck's your problem?" Hank spat.

"The plastic prick's got a boyfriend. Hah. Didn't know he had it in him."

Hank turned to look right at Connor, Gavin flicking his head up in approval. He blinks several times, mouth agape before piping up again. "Hey, wait a second--"]

> **daddy** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _Dog Enthusiast sent a video:_ Ah, to be at a level of physical attractiveness that everyone you casually spend time with is assumed to be a romantic partner.
> 
> **daddy:** I can name over 300 tabloid articles claiming you and I are in a romatic relationship.
> 
> **daddy:** Aren't we?
> 
> **daddy:** Kamski, you're gay.
> 
> **daddy:** Shame.
> 
> **Bruh:** oh hey
> 
> **Joshy:** Ugh, tabloids give me the creeps. What anyone's relationship status is is nobody's business.
> 
> **daddy** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _Dog Enthusiast sent a video:_ Is that Gavin reed
> 
> **daddy** replied to Bruh, _oh hey:_ Pleasant evening to you, North 😊.
> 
> **Simone** sent a video:

[It slowly zooms into Hank as he and Connor argue playfully.

"You seriously couldn't have brought him to a movie or a restaurant or something?" He could hear Hank whisper-yell.

"He liked dogs. We have a dog, so I brought him here."

"You couldn't have brought him to a park? There's nothing to do in this dingy little house."

Connor furrowed his eyebrows. The camera momentarily panned over to Sumo, rested right beside Simon on the floor. By the time it went back to the two, only neck up of anybody was visible. "Hank, by no means is your house neither dingy nor little."

"Oh, fuck off, you know what I mean. I know this park right a ways away from the street. Managed by some good android friend-- friends-- frien-- whatever, hive mind? They're like bees."

Only facial features could have been seen through Simon's view. He zoomed right into Connor's as he exclaimed "Bees?"]

> **robojesus:** 🅱ees.
> 
> **Bruh:** 🅱ees
> 
> **Bruh:** FUCK you're too fast
> 
> **Joshy** sent a photo:

[Barry B. Benson from the 2007 movie Bee Movie.]

 **Simone** sent a video:

[A regular version of the clip from earlier plays. However, once Connor says "Bees", the audio is bass boosted and the clip is tinted a dark red."]

> **daddy** replied to Simone, _Simone sent a video:_

[It's a photo. The crying laughing emoji with eyes open. It's distorted with noise and contrast, akin to a visual representation of getting deep fried.]

> **Joshy:** Huh?
> 
> **Bruh** replied to Joshy, _Huh?:_ (2)
> 
> **robojesus** sent a picture:

[The character Vanessa from the Bee Movie is holding Barry in her hand. The word 'beauty' is terribly superimposed on her eye.

> **Simone** replied to robojesus, _robojesus sent a picture:_ No 💖
> 
> **daddy** replied to robojesus, _robojesus sent a picture:_ :poggers:
> 
> **Joshy** replied to daddy, _:poggers::_ ?? What is this?
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** _@Simone_ :3
> 
> **Simone:** Yes?
> 
> **robojesus** replied to Joshy, _?? What is that?_ : That's a Twitch emoticon. Carl used to livestream his painting process on the platform, but had to stop since people kept barging in from nowhere or sending security to the house through fake terrorist threats. I really liked studying the videos on demand after.
> 
> **Joshy:** Ugh, now you reminded me. His streams got me through difficult times.
> 
> **Bruh** replied to Dog Enthusiast, **_@Simone_** _:3:_ are we just going to ignore this?
> 
> **Simone:** Ignore what
> 
> **robojesus:** The weather is perfectly chilly today. 15 degrees Celsius and stabilizing for the next few hours.
> 
> **robojesus:** I'm going out to relax in the park. Care to join me? _@Joshy @Bruh_
> 
> **Joshy:** I appreciate the offer Markus, but not right now. I've been looking into writing and I think I want to start practicing today.
> 
> **Bruh:** sure. let me go fix myself up first
> 
> **robojesus** replied to Joshy, _I appreciate the offer Markus, but not right now. I've been looking into writing and I think I want to start practicing today.:_ That's nice. It's always good to have creative endeavors. They're a great way to healthily channel emotion.
> 
> **Bruh:** you sound like a father
> 
> **daddy:** Elijah is not available as of now. He's taking an important call.
> 
> **daddy:** It's called a business phone for a reason.
> 
> **daddy** sent a photo:

[A candid shot of Elijah Kamski, one phone to his ear and another he's typing on. He's laid down on a sofa.]

> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to daddy, _daddy sent a video:_ I'm more surprised he's ambidextrous than he is taking a call and chatting at the same time.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** Only 1% of the human population is ambidextrous. In hindsight, it only makes sense such a unique man is part of another unique community.
> 
> **Bruh:** markus markus markus let's go
> 
> **robojesus:** Alright. I've told Vincent where we're headed. It's not that far of a walk.
> 
> **Bruh:** like it matters manfred we're literally androids
> 
> **robojesus:** North, the last time we had to walk to get somewhere you got impatient and nearly hit an officer.
> 
> **Bruh:** that was _one time_
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to robojesus, _North, the last time we had to walk to get somewhere you got impatient and nearly hit an officer.:_ How?
> 
> **Bruh:** i'll tell you about it one of these days
> 
> **Joshy:** Why not today?
> 
> **Bruh:** you were the one who apologized to her why are you acting like you weren't there
> 
> **Joshy:** :D
> 
> **robojesus:** _@Joshy,_ be nice. We're going.
> 
> **Joshy:** Of course.
> 
> **Simone:** North
> 
> **Bruh:** what
> 
> **Simone** sent a photo:

[Simon posing with an android model famously renowned for working the defunct Pirate's Cove a.k.a. Jerry. This Jerry wore a custard turtleneck, the sleeves stopping by his elbow. Their ears are pierced with flat, black circles, the left one having additional black rings near the upper end and the right one a tiny cross hung by a short chain on the circle. It looks to be taken from a phone held by the Jerry.]

> **Simone:** I forwarded you his serial number
> 
> **Bruh:** no fucking way
> 
> **Simone:** I know right?
> 
> **Joshy:** Oh my goodness...
> 
> **robojesus:** Who is he?
> 
> **Bruh:** jeremy
> 
> **Bruh:** he was _supposed to be_ the reason why we didn't do scouting a lot
> 
> **Simone** sent a photo:

[Jeremy raising a peace sign, revealing nails painted black. His head is tilted a little backwards. There is text on top of an opaque black bar at the center of the image. Simon's face is barely visible in the upper left corner.

"I made it lol"]

> **Bruh:** he didn't even try to get back to us
> 
> **Simone:** Take it easy. We don't know what happened to him
> 
> **Bruh:** looks to me he's been doing REAL good
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** sent a photo:

[Connor is petting a Rottweiler held on a leash. Parts of a yellow shirt can be seen near the top of the picture. It's smiling.]

> **Dog Enthusiast:** For a dog that looks menacing, she's very friendly!
> 
> **robojesus** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _Dog Enthusiast sent a photo:_ That dog looks like a cross breed of a German Shepherd and a Labrador.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** Fun fact about the Rottweiler: They were actually bred for German butchers as aid for herding livestock.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** They're still as cute as ever!
> 
> **Simone:** I'm talking to him right now _@Bruh_
> 
> **Simone:** He's been finding androids to lead to Jericho ever since he left
> 
> **Bruh:** wow telling us he was alive must have been such a CHORE then
> 
> **Simone:** I'm getting there
> 
> **robojesus:** It isn't fair to judge him without hearing his side, North.
> 
> **Simone:** Thank you. Gosh
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** Anything the matter _@Josh_? You haven't said much since Jeremy's been introduced.
> 
> **Joshy:** Sorry. I've only ever heard about Jeremy in stories.
> 
> **Joshy:** The way _those_ were told, I thought for sure he was dead.
> 
> **Bruh:** you're not alone on that one
> 
> **Simone:** He
> 
> **Simone:** didn't want to go back
> 
> **Bruh:** i don't care if he hated how it was before
> 
> **Bruh:** we were putting our lives on the line for everyone, then decided its not convenient for him anymore and decided to leave?
> 
> **Bruh:** then why send people? was their choice whether they wanted to get holed up or not?
> 
> **Bruh:** did he see himself as some missionary spreading a message? but still too good to follow it himself, i guess
> 
> **Bruh:** i'm deleting his serial
> 
> **Simone:** You have to consider _why_ we thought he died in the first place
> 
> **Bruh:** i don't care. he was being selfish. i don't have shit to say to him
> 
> **Simone:** North, please. He really wants to talk to you
> 
> **robojesus:** Simon.
> 
> **Joshy:** Oh sh*t.
> 
> **Simone:** Sorry.
> 
> **robojesus:** Don't apologize.
> 
> **robojesus:** Look, we're doing what we all are to unwind. Can we do that without arguing kilometers apart?
> 
> **Bruh:** fine
> 
> **Simone:** Did Josh censor himself?
> 
> **Bruh:** he's never said a single curse word all his life and when he did, it auto-censors
> 
> **Bruh:** unbelievable
> 
> **Joshy:** _You_ try swearing with a Professions Vocabulary Filter.
> 
> **Simone:** Can't you get rid of it?
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** Profession Vocabulary Filters are native to PJ500 models. If he tried to get rid of it himself, he might break.
> 
> **Joshy:** Come on!
> 
> **robojesus** sent a photo:

[A quiet park. The leaves are an assorted array of greens. There are balloons floating somewhere along the carts of food and faux food. There's a cemented walkway that leads to a small rotunda centered by huge tree with pink leaves. ]

> **Simone** sent a photo:

[There are more people with pets than those with none. Even from where Simon and Connor were standing, they could see familiar repeating faces: Jerrys.]

> **daddy:** Would you look at that. It's come full circle.
> 
> **Bruh:** i wouldn't put it like that
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** sent a photo:

[An old man with a raccoon on a leash.]

> **Joshy:** That just gave me an idea.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** I'm happy to help!
> 
> **Simone:** The raccoon snarled at me :(
> 
> **robojesus** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _Dog Enthusiast sent a photo:_ That's a weird raccoon. It looks more like a fox.
> 
> **Bruh:** markus took one step into the park and already there's a couple is beelining to take a picture with him
> 
> **Simone:** Sometimes I forget how unique of a model Markus is
> 
> **robojesus** replied to Bruh, _markus took one step into the park and already there's a couple is beelining to take a picture with him:_ a picture with us**
> 
> **Bruh** sent a voice clip:

[A female voice is heard. She sounds young. "Again, thank you so much for everything."

"She thinks you two look good together," a male voice continued.

North giggles. Markus speaks up. "Oh, no no. We're just good friends."

"Same." The guy relates. "Bea here was too shy to ask for a picture and also happens to owe me $20."

A soft thud like a baseball bat hitting flesh played. There is a groaning noise. Markus reacts in surprise.

"Shit, I forgot how soft humans were." The female voice, Bea, exclaimed. North is trying to hold in her laughter.]

> **daddy:** This is getting ridiculous. Androids are far too attractive for their own good.
> 
> **daddy:** <3
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** sent a photo:

[Connor posing with the old man through a phone. In the space between their heads, the raccoon is seen chasing Simon. They look like blurs.]

> **Simone:** HELP
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** He's not going to hurt anyone!
> 
> **Simone:** _HELP_
> 
> **Bruh:** you'd think simon could've outran him
> 
> **robojesus:** Raccoons can run about 24 kilometers an hour.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast** replied to robojesus, _I'm not so sure about that. Raccoons can run about 24 kilometers an hour.:_ Very close! It's actually a raccoon dog. Raccon dogs go at max 40 kilometers per hour, nearly rivaling the max 45 of humans.
> 
> **Simone:** I AM AN _ANDROID_
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** Don't panic, Simon! The Jerrys have released their R.P.D.. It should get to you in no time!
> 
> **Bruh:** raccoon police department???
> 
> **robojesus:** Rogue Pet Dispatch.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** Raccoon Police Department sounds much more exciting!
> 
> **daddy:** Markus, Elijah is asking for you to call him once you're finished with your stroll.
> 
> **daddy:** He's recently been in contact with consultants asking his take on android rights and inviting _him_ to the Executive Cabinet.
> 
> **Joshy:** Markus has already told him he won't be involved in politics.
> 
> **daddy:** Exactly why he needs to talk to you. He wants to find an alternative.
> 
> **daddy:** And I didn't leave CyberLife to join a different group of hypocrites and narcissists.
> 
> **robojesus:** Thank you for telling me about this first instead of calling right away.
> 
> **daddy:** :)
> 
> **Bruh** sent a video:

[Markus is carefully petting a stray kitten hiding under a bench. It's so tiny that its head is being pet using only Markus's index, middle, and ring finger.]

> **daddy:** Oh.
> 
> **daddy:** I told you it would have been rude.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** I never realized how Detroit is crawling with pets and such.
> 
> **robojesus** sent a video:

[He's saying "Ow. Ow. Ow." over and over again. The kitten is climbing his jeans.]

> **Bruh:** i turned my head for 1 second
> 
> **daddy** replied to Dog Enthusiast, _I never realized how Detroit is crawling with pets and such:_ and crawling it is.
> 
> **Dog Enthusiast:** Polo has been fined.
> 
> **Simone:** That _rabid_ _animal_ _'s_ name is _Polo?!_
> 
> **robojesus:** Marco.
> 
> **Bruh:** ugh, reminds me of that sport
> 
> **daddy:** What's wrong with polo?
> 
> **Simone** replied to daddy, _What's wrong with polo?:_ **Everything**
> 
> **Bruh:** it's whatever. i just don't like it

_Dog Enthusiast changed his name to Racoon Dog._

_Bruh changed Simone’s nickname to RPD._

> **RPD:** Goodness
> 
> **Racoon Dog:** Not to worry everyone.
> 
> **Racoon Dog** sent a photo:

[One Jerry is holding Polo like a baby. It’s actually wearing a diaper. Another Jerry’s hand is around his shoulder, the other hand booping the nose of the raccoon dog.]

> **RPD:** Why couldn’t he be as cuddly with me?!
> 
> **Bruh:** polo doesn’t like you
> 
> **Raccoon Dog:** _I_ like you!
> 
> **robojesus:** I like him too.
> 
> **Bruh:** markus haven’t we talked about this

_robojesus changed his nickname to Simon Simp._

> **Bruh:** >:(
> 
> **Simon Simp:** You wouldn’t get it.
> 
> **Bruh:** get what
> 
> **Simon Simp:** Exactly.
> 
> **Raccoon Dog:** I’m going to take some time off of the chat.
> 
> **Raccoon Dog:** It would have been rude for a human to use their phones all the time during a hangout, so chatting through Neural Text when with another android should be just as uncivil.
> 
> **RPD:** You’re lucky you’re charming

_Simon Simp changed his nickname to Sad Simon Simp._

> **Bruh:** drama queen

_Sad Simon Simp changed his nickname to Sad Simon Simp_ _👑._

> **Sad Simon Simp** **👑** **:** We should really enjoy the atmosphere ourselves, North.
> 
> **Bruh:** fiiiiine i’ll shut the process
> 
> **Sad Simon Simp** **👑** **:** Have fun, everyone.
> 
> **Sad Simon Simp** **👑** replied to Joshy, _That just gave me an idea._ ** _:_** Don’t forget to show me what you’ve written afterwards.
> 
> **Bruh:** ugh it’s so weird for you to keep backtracking like that
> 
> **RPD:** At least you know he reads everything
> 
> **Raccoon Dog:** It’s thoughtful.
> 
> **Sad Simon Simp** **👑:** :)
> 
> **Bruh:** how could any of you fall for this guy
> 
> **Bruh:** wait don’t answer that
> 
> **RPD** replied to Bruh, _how could any of you fall for this guy:_ Lol
> 
> **Joshy** replied to Bruh, _how could any of you fall for this guy:_ LOL.
> 
> **Sad Simon Simp** **👑:** replied to Bruh, _how could any of you fall for this guy:_ Lol.


End file.
